i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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