therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
