So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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