how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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