im gay
i know
yea but for you.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
