i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
