How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
