and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
