Plan B is the new Plan A
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize