you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
