oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
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