I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
