awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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