Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
