My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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