Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm at about main and main street
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
