I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize