Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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