Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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