Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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