the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
