I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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