just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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