they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I will be naked everywhere
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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