Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
There r osticjed everywhere
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
All the doctor said was why
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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