Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
