I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
