One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
