remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize