hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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