brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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