butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toyâ€
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