thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
