No stitches, just platelets and will power
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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