So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
