just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
