i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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