I think I won the penis lottery.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
