If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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