WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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