"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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