I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize