you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
