69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize