Dual....:-)
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
