she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize