Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
