I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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