You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
