I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
