im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
