Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
