If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
