If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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