Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
