she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
