Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
