My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
