my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize