I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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