Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
