i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize